Content Warning: rape
  • Recovery is seasonal, not linear. It lasts a long time and does not follow a simple, straight path. You will make progress in some areas but not in others, you will struggle with things years into recovery that were easy for you in the height of your trauma. This is all normal and okay.
  • Ignore any recovery “inspiration” that tells you to “be a survivor, not a victim!” Identify as a victim if you find it validating. The idea that victims are weak and being a victim is bad is, in itself, rape culture. Identify as a survivor if you find it validating, or identify as both, or as neither.
  • Ignore any recovery “inspiration” that shames you for struggling with recovery. Recovery is a struggle. The struggle is not a reflection of you, your character, your worth, or the effort you’re making to heal. It is a reflection of your trauma. That’s it.
  • Anger is a healthy and valid emotion. Anger can be productive and incite change. Sometimes parts of our anger can be unhelpful and draining and we might want to let go of those parts, but there is nothing shameful about being angry at angering circumstances.
  • Forgiveness in the face of trauma is deeply personal. Some people forgive and some don’t. It is up to you, and it is okay to refuse to forgive the people who have wronged you.
  • Recovery and self care advice is always easier said than done. I give great advice on here that I struggle to follow in my own life, that I almost never follow, that I haven’t followed in months or years. It is good advice nonetheless, but remember that it is normal to have a hard time doing something that you know is good for you.
  • No matter how much you are struggling, you should be so so proud of yourself. To be at the step of wanting to recover, wanting to heal, wanting to take care of yourself - to be at a stage where you love yourself enough to try to take care of yourself - is extraordinary. We are so proud of you and you should be proud too.