I started the hashtag “what biphobia did” about a year ago, in response to some micro-aggression I don’t even remember anymore. I know I was tired, of hearing that biphobia was half-fat homophobia or didn’t exist at all, and I wanted to provide a venting space that amplified the voices of the bi community and our experiences. Something that said look, you’re real and your experiences aren’t unique, the rest of the community feels them too.
Something that’s become clear to me recently is that it also provides a resource. Its anecdotal of course, all we have is the word of the tumblr users that they are who they say they are and these things really happened. But unless you believe in some Big Bi Conspiracy, where we’re pretending to be hurt for, what? cookies, attention, all the money that really belongs to virtuous non mga members of the community, it gets harder and harder to deny that these things happen when you have so many people around the world saying the same thing. The what biphobia did tag on tumblr is something you can point biphobes to when they say “but nothing really happens just because you’re bisexual” or any of the other fun variations of it.
We won’t be reprinting all of the entries here. It would take far too long and too many articles. But periodically now we’re going to share handfuls of additions to the tag. Because you’re not alone, others are living the same denial, invalidation and abuse as you. Because these things are happening and we need to make people listen, and the more people speaking the harder we are to ignore.
Be warned for emotional and sexual abuse, and eating disorders as well as biphobia before reading any further.
“It furthered my eating disorder, furthered my depression which furthered my suicidal tendencies, got me sexually assaulted, made me feel like I couldn’t tell most of my friends about that because of their views on my sexuality, and eventually made me lose those same awful friends that I had known for years. (Good riddance, they were trash.)”
“Biphobia has made me lose friends who were scared that I would hit on them and their boyfriend. Biphobia has also made one of my close friends (who is bi), feel like her sexuality is not valid because she is more attracted to men than she is to women.”
“biphobia separated me from the rest of the LGBT kids in high school and told I was a fake by all the lesbians. Biphobia then allowed my boyfriend to decide my identity for me (straight, obviously) and then after years of abuse was used as the reason I left him. Biphobia has meant coming out to my family multiple times, it also meant getting assaulted, being doubted by countless potential partners, and feeling like I deserved all those things for not choosing. It led to being hit on by couple after couple as a plaything. Biphobia is awful.”
“Biphobia has made me internalise my hatred because i was forced to think it wasn’t normal. I have lost friends, some good, some bad. I’m afraid to talk to my family. I am afraid to talk to anyone about it out of fear of rejection. Biphobia taught me to hate myself and i have now realised that i have been biphobic to others in the past. I am angry with myself and angry with others. I can hardly forgive myself for the pain i have caused and for the pain that many others face daily. Biphobia has ruined much of my confidence and left me with self-pity, and i now find it even harder to make friends as i lack the belief that they will like me, the real me.”
“Biphobia has made me doubt myself countless times. I have to deal with a constant onslaught of people telling me that my gender identity and sexuality aren’t compatible, that i should really be pan, despite the fact i dislike that label for myself. It also makes me hesitate to figure out if im polyamorous or not, because im scared of being labelled as “greedy” even more than i already am. Finally, i feel belittled and insulted by other members of the MOGAI commuity(especially gays and lesbians), even in spaces i should be safe in, such as pride. “
If you want to participate in this make a post on tumblr and tag it either "what biphobia did" or "whatbiphobiadid", tweet #whatbiphobiadid or email us. Your tweets/tumblr blogs may make it into a future article and will almost certainly be shared by us.