Content Warning: biphobia

I’ve seen far, far to many posts around the internet asking for a definition of pansexual, polysexual etc or how they relate to bisexuality. Nothing inherently wrong with this per say. But about 4 sentences into the answer everything devolves into a giant clusterfrell of policing, negativity and just plain laziness.

So here let me clear this up for you for each type of question I’ve seen:

Step 1: receive question about ” define poly/pan/omni. ”

Step 2: check to see if you are any of those.If yes give the definition most used by you and others.If no try and find a well researched definition that is inclusive,does not rely on negatively defining some other sexuality AND is made by the people who are that sexuality.

Step 3: post.

“What is the difference between bisexual and x?”

Step 1: if you are x define if no refer to Step 2 of previous.

Step 2: consult either places such as BiNet USA or other prominent bisexual orgs or author’s such as Robyn Ochs.

Step 3: post info from them.

Step 4: Check yourself for any policing or other douche baggery.

Step 5: post.

Step 6: if real bisexual or people of x sexuality tell you did wrong accept it, apologize and change it.

Even if it means that you or x seem “less queer”/”less hip”. Cause come on, let’s be honest here, a lot of the redefining of bi against the experience of bisexuals has more to do with the fear and insecurity of being “not queer enough/cool enough” than it does with the person's inability to successfully google up bisexual resources.


Aud Traher is a Bisexual-Trans Activist, local LGBT organizer, blogger, local craftperson and board member of BiNet USA living in working in a rural community in Western Central Pennsylvania.